


Finding the One

by ZealousWriter



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-08-10 22:47:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16463837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZealousWriter/pseuds/ZealousWriter
Summary: [Written after 15X05]Owen and Amelia were finally happy, raising two kids under one roof. But when Teddy comes along with news that she's pregnant their relationship is hindered. Soon Amelia starts to spiral again. Can Owen and Amelia ever get back to where they once were?(Drug and Alcohol abuse warning!)





	1. Life is Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first fic so there may be some mistakes.  
> The story will get very dark and twisty before it can get better, just saying.  
> Thanks for reading hope you enjoy!  
> Will be updating frequently.
> 
> Starts after 15X05 so make sure you're caught up to understand.
> 
> (Drug and Alcohol abuse warning!)

It was 8 pm at Grey Sloan and Amelia was excited to get out of work early for once. At least 8 is what doctors call early. She swung around the corner to pick up Leo from daycare to only meet the eyes of the reddish haired figure before her.

“You’re out of work early today” she spoke as she took a step towards him.

“Yeah, I had one last emergency appendectomy for the day and then I was free to go” Owen replied, as he mimicked her actions, inching closer towards her.

He gracefully took her hand, and Owen couldn't help to notice the shy smile that rose across her face. They then went into the daycare together to fetch Leo. 

**** 

30 minutes later they were in the parking lot heading to the car, and being held in Owen’s arms was baby Leo. As Owen rambled on about how he didn’t like the new lights in the OR, saying they were in fact too bright, Amelia notice a silver lexus pass by with a blonde driver she vaguely remember. She brushed the thought away thinking it was only her mind deceiving her and nodded in response to Owen’s comment. When they reached the car Owen buckled Leo in as Amelia went to snag the driver’s seat.

“Hey, now, it's my turn to drive” Owen detested.

Amelia was aware of how much Owen liked to be in control, saying that driving made him feel free, she was about to argue with him before he began to speak again…

“You had that 12 hour surgery today, you’ve been on your feet too much, let me drive.”

“Okay, but I get to drive tomorrow to work, because you alway mess up our coffee orders at the drive thru.” she said as she slid over the center console into the passenger seat.

“You know there are 2 doors you could have walked around the car and then got into the passenger seat” He jokingly scowled at her.

“Well I’ve always been a fan of the easy route.”

And with that statement he laughed and proceeded to pull out of the parking lot and they headed home.

****

When they got home, Betty was nestled at the kitchen doing her homework.

“Welcome back guys, kill anybody today” she said sarcastically from across the room.

“Very funny missy, no we didn’t kill anybody today, we’re doctors not serial killers” Amelia laughingly replied.

Owen headed into the kitchen to sit Leo in his high chair. And Amelia set down her purse and went down the hall to get something from their room. She almost tripped over a box in the hallway. She had just finished moving out of Mer’s house recently. Meredith was really reluctant to let her leave for some reason, for once it seemed to Amelia that Meredith was sad to see her leave unlike the other multiple times she had moved out. But she wasn’t worried too much about it, she would still see Meredith around a lot, and the sister trio could never die in her eyes. Yet something stuck with her. That last hug as Amelia carried the last box out the door, it felt more like an I’m sorry than I’m going to miss you hug… strange. 

 

Amelia enter into her and Owen’s room only to be met with the scent of Lilac, wow that new candle she had bought must be magic she thought to herself. She remember what she had came in for and headed to her sock drawer. She proceeded to grab a pair of fluffy socks because the wood floor were a tad bit chilly in the fall climate and noticed a sparkle on the dresser. She peered up to look at the two precious rings in the the clay dish, they were her and Owen’s wedding rings. She couldn’t help but think she’d be delighted to wear that ring again someday, not anytime soon though. Now that she was brain tumor clear Amelia was less impulsive to just get married right away. But maybe in a year or two she wouldn’t mind wearing it again. 

She grabbed a pair of white and blue striped fluffy socks and made her way back to the kitchen.

“What do you guys want to eat?” She said, as she looked over at her loveable, oddball of a family.

“Something with tuna” Betty smirked.

“No, pasta!” Owen chuckled, and baby Leo’s response was just to coo beside him.

“Oooh, that sounds good. I would be down for some pasta” Betty said.

Leo then proceeded to giggle as Owen waved his stuffed lion before him. Amelia crept over to Leo,

“Well, you sir are getting some baby carrots tonight” She said as she tickled Leo’s stomach.  
And she went to the cabinet to retrieve the baby food, 

“And the rest of us are getting pasta with tuna, does that sound good?”.

The family all proceeded to nod, and Amelia began cooking. 

Quarter to 10 the food was done, and they chowed down as Betty recanted her day at school.

“Omg, you should have seen Elizabeth in chem class she got her iron solution all over her white shoes, they’ll be stained red for like forever because of the dye we put in it.”

“That’s why I like to never pay too much for shoes” Amelia responded jokingly.

“Well those $70 dollar heels in our closet beg to differ” Owen commented.

“But they were so cute, I had to buy them”, and the family began to chuckled.

 

After dinner Amelia whisked Betty off to bed since it was past 11, and around 11:30 they finally got Leo to sleep. Soon it was just them, Owen had his arm around Amelia as they walked to their room.

“Wow, we’re such great parents” Owen spoke.

“Yeah, I guess we are,” Amelia said as she smiled at him,  
“It still feels like we’re living this perfect fantasy though”.

“Perfect, huh?” Owen snapped,  
“Yeah it is pretty perfect, I could definitely live like this forever”.

“Me too” Amelia responded as she crawled into bed.

Owen on the other side of the bed tugged the light string and the room was masked with darkness.

“Goodnight” He said as he leaned over and kissed Amelia.

“Night” she said as she smiled at him.  
Then proceeded to nestle under the covers and fell asleep with Owen’s arm around her. 

****

It was 7 am as Amelia was met with her blaring alarm, she looked over her shoulder to see the bed empty. A sudden fear overwhelmed her but then from where she was she was met with the scent of waffles. Ah, he is probably up making breakfast she thought to herself. She grabbed a robe and put it over her long cozy fall pajamas which had cute leaves all over them. She made her way to the kitchen noticing a slender figure sitting at the kitchen counter.

“Good morning” she said as she placed a hand on Betty’s shoulder.

“Morning’ “ Betty mumbled turning around with a waffle in her mouth.

“And here’s one for you” Owen told Amelia as she elegant pulled one out of the waffle press and onto a plate for her.

“Thanks” she said as she grabbed it from him.

She proceeded to sit beside Betty at the kitchen counter. Peering across the counter, happy as can be, she saw Leo bouncing in his high chair as he chowed down on cheerios. All of a sudden the doorbell rang…

“I’ll get it” Betty hollered as she sat up from her seat.

As Betty swung opened the door to be met by the face of a blonde lady. Across the room Owen and Amelia were paralyzed in place. Amelia heart was racing was running a mile a minute. How could she be here? Why is she here, why now? Before Betty could speak to the woman, Owen took a step towards the door, 

“Teddy?”.


	2. Is She Better?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teddy is back in town, and Amelia begins to worry about her relationship with Owen. Owen is about to receive some crazy news.

“Owen…” Teddy said and she marveled at the scene before her.

It wasn’t like she should be surprised to see this, she knew about Owen’s life now but to catch them at a time like this she wasn’t expecting.

“Why don’t you come in..?” he said as he took the door from Betty.

Teddy proceeded inside and took a seat on the couch. Owen peered around and suddenly Amelia was gone. But then out of nowhere she popped up around the corner of the hall fully dressed and ready for the day.

“Alright Betty it’s time to take you to school, go grab Leo” Amelia said frantically.

“But we don't have to go in to work till…” Owen stammered.

“Um.. you guys have definitely something to talk about, I’ll see you later I guess” she said as she sped out the door with Leo and Betty in tow.

And as the door slammed behind her, Owen was left speechless with the scene that had unfolded before him. He sighed, and took a seat beside Teddy on the couch.

****

Sat in her car in the driveway, a thousand thoughts going through her head.

“Are we going?” Betty critics.

But Amelia just began to ponder more. Why is she here? She gonna tell him she got an STD or needs money, or probably the worst she’ll beg for him to take her back… will he?

“Um… yeah” Amelia responded, she put the gear shift into reverse and pulled out of the driveway.

****  
She finally reached Grey Sloan after getting through the messy drop off line of Betty’s school. Amelia walked in, baby in tow, and headed up to the daycare. After dropping Leo off she made her way to front desk for something she couldn’t even remember. Suddenly she was leaning down against the desk head in hands, Maggie quickly pulled up beside her.

“Rough day so far” Maggie asked.

“The roughest” Amelia sighed as she pulled herself up to meet her sister’s eyes.

“That’s not a word” Maggie ridiculed.

“Actually it is” Amelia chuckled as they began to cruise down the hallway together. 

She decided she wasn’t going to tell her sister what was bothering her just yet, hoping deeply that it would blow over quickly. 

****

Owen turned towards Teddy,

“So… what have you came here to tell me, oh can I guess maybe how much you hate me all over again” Owen commented rudely, he didn’t mean to be so abrupt but after their last encounter all he felt was pain. 

“Actually, Owen this is going to be hard to hear. I know you’ve been wanting this for a while but these aren’t exactly the right circumstances. And you don’t have to be with me after I tell you this, but I think this might be a good thing for both of us and bring us closer together again” Teddy spoke all in one breath.

“Okay..?” he responded, curious about what was happening.

“Owen, I’m pregnant. You’re the father”

Suddenly all the air was sucked out of his lungs and he stood there in shock. But speechless as he was he leaned over and hugged her. After a minute or so he pulled back his eyes watery, he didn’t believe this would ever happen to him. 

“Um, it’s your choice but I think our child could really use a stable mother and father thats um… together” Teddy spoke.

“Oh.. well, “ Owen spoke catching his breath,”I kind of have this thing with Amelia, I just need some time to think. But I am 100% on board with raising this baby with you if that’s alright”.  
“Yeah, that’s fine, “ she said “I’ll give you some time to process this”. 

As she got up to leave and she couldn’t help but smile. Teddy had a chance with him, that’s what he was saying. While Amelia and those kids had put a damper on her perfect plans, she knew Owen would be reasonable and come to his senses. That whether he loved her or not he would choose her because she could give him a traditionally family something Amelia couldn't. And together they could build a stable family for their child or child's (depending if they keep Leo), and they would be happy. She would be happy with him… right?

“Alright call me soon, I’m getting a job at Grey Sloan so I’ll be around” She said as she paused beside the door. 

And with a shy smile she headed out the door. Owen just nodded and proceeded to stare into the void that was the floor below him.

****

Amelia had heard from Alex that Owen had called of work today. She took a deep breath, it was probably nothing they’re talk was just longer than expected that's all. She weirdly trusted that Owen would come to her saying he and Teddy had a fight and she was back off to Germany… that was her hope. 

During lunch Meredith caught Amelia running her hands through her hair sitting at a table alone. As she got closer she noticed Amelia wheezing, trying to catch her breath. 

“Amelia, you okay?” Mer said as she slowly approached her sister, almost as if she was scared to spook the fragile human.

“Yeah, yeah I’m good just having a mild panic attack it’ll pass” Amelia stuttered.

Meredith frantically tugged her arm, and then suddenly they were on the floor of the bathroom. Amelia’s head resting on Meredith’s lap, with Meredith muttering,

“It’s okay… just breathe … it’s okay… I got you”.

 

Amelia couldn’t remember how she had got there, she just had gotten her lunch and sat down. But she was all alone and the thoughts of Teddy and Owen just overwhelmed, she couldn’t block off the inevitable. Owen might take Teddy, he might choose her. Choose her over dysfunctional, messy Amelia… she’s the better stable model. So the thoughts came, and then Mer and everything was fast that the world just kind of blackout, time was just gone. Amelia couldn’t help but think what a spectacle they were as sat on the gross bathroom floor, yet it was comfortable. Amelia got up off of Meredith, her strong-headedness told her not to grieve but to push through. Besides Owen hadn’t really dumped her yet, it was her addict brain freaking way too soon. 

“I’m fine” Amelia muttered using her sleeve to wipe away a tear, she pretended as if the seen prior never happened.

She stood up and reached a hand down to Meredith. She gently took her hand and stood up, and proceeded to dust off her scrubs.

“You know I’m always here for you Amelia” Meredith said as she glared into her eyes, which were now glossed over, almost impenetrable. 

“Yeah I know” Amelia mumbled and she slowly sighed, and exited the bathroom in a zombie like fashion.

****

“Parker just monitor her overnight we don’t want anymore bleeds” Amelia said sharply.

“Yes, of course” Parker replied and scurried down the hall.

Amelia sighed, and took the stethoscope off from around her neck. She had finished her last surgery and officially free. She checked her phone it was 10 pm, she was bothered by the fact that Owen hadn’t contacted her at all. Oh well, it was time to go home. She was anxious for the sight that she would be presented with when she arrived home. Would her stuff be packed up again or would Teddy be gone?

 

She made her way down the hall to daycare when a familiar face was waiting there for her. 

“Hey I was looking for you...can we talk?” Owen stammered.

“Um… okay” Amelia replied, but his tone was starting to make her worrisome.

Suddenly he tugged her into an empty oncall room, her heart rate grew along with her anxiety. 

Owen quickly began to speak, “Amelia we’re great together, but there is going to be something that comes between us. And I really need this in my life… I’m just to going say it… Teddy’s pregnant,”

Amelia’s heart dropped, 

 

She can give him what I couldn’t, he’s going to choose her.

 

Owen noticed the glossy stare across Amelia’s eyes, and he proceeded to continue despite the shock overwhelming her. 

“I’m going to have a child, and I’m going to need to be there for them and Teddy. So when it comes to you and me, I believe that we should---”.

Looking down at the floor, emotionless, Amelia cut him off, “Don’t… just don’t… I can’t do this…,” Her voice was meek and lifeless.

She looked up at him stone cold, no tears.

“I’m just going… to need some space right now, take care of Betty and Leo for a bit okay”.

He just stood there, staring at the love of his life speechless; twice in one day. 

“Okay” Owen said.


	3. Running Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How are Owen and Amelia feeling after what has just unfolded? Who and what caused it? Let's find out.
> 
> (Drug and Alcohol abuse warning)

Amelia spun around and charged out of the oncall room. He won’t see her cry, it was his choice, and he chose right. Teddy was better, he will always pick Teddy. Right now all she needs to do is to learn to breath again, housing and other issues can be sorted out later. As she rounded the corner she couldn’t hold it any longer tears running down her face as she sprinted down the hallway. All of a sudden she bumped into Maggie, sending her and her notes to the floor.

“Watch out much”, Maggie muttered.

Amelia just stared blankly at her with puffy red eyes, and Maggie finally registered what happened.

“You found out didn’t you” Maggie spoke out of turn, oh no she wasn’t supposed to have said that.

But Meredith and Maggie had been waiting for this catastrophe for a while, the whole situation was a ticking time bomb. 

“You kNEW abOUT tHIS!” the temper rose in Amelia’s voice.

“We wanted to tell you but…” Maggie stuttered, she was usually strong but the angry and broken Amelia before her had gotten to her.

“Who’s we…” Amelia spoke in a shirl whisper.

“Meredith and I, but I promise we were going to tell you but…” Maggie stammered on.

“No but’s, no lies, I expected more from family,” Amelia growled, “You know what you’re not even family...don’t even speak to me again”.

And before Maggie could utter another word, Amelia whipped her head around and headed out the door.

****

Owen was paralyzed in the oncall room, he sat on one of the beds staring into the cement wall in front of him. He received such good news and horrid news in a single day, yet all he could feel was the lost. 

 

He wanted Amelia in his life, that’s what he was about to tell her. He wanted it to all work out, multiple kids in a big house and just them. Teddy would always be the mom of his child but nothing more, his feelings for her were nothing when it came to Amelia. 

 

But Amelia didn’t want him and the new kid, she had made that clear. Maybe it was the fact that it was even Teddy’s child set her off more. But Amelia didn’t anymore additions to their perfect family, it was too much for her apparently. Amelia doesn’t seem to want the kid from what he can tell, and he can’t just give up his own child. So all he has left is staring at the cement wall and hoping it provides some wisdom. 

****

Amelia ran outside into the pouring rain, how fitting for a time like this she thought to herself. She was in scrubs with no jacket and just a purse in one hand. She got into her car soaking wet from head to toe. Yet now she had no clue where to go. She couldn’t go back to Owen’s place because that was over, she would have to collect her stuff soon though. Not Meredith’s either because she was done with that family and their lies. Mer said she was going to be there for her, yet she goes around and stabs her in the back. An infuriated Amelia began to start the engine and drives aimlessly down the road. She arrives at a motel 6 and parks the car.

****

Owen arrived home with Leo crying loudly in his baby carrier.

“Hey Leo!” Betty squealed as she came forth to snatch her son.

She proceeded to sooth him as he continued to cry.

She looked over at the reck that was Owen, “Hey are you alright? Where’s Amelia”.

“Um… she has to work late tonight. Do you mind putting Leo to sleep I’ve just had a rough day” He spoke as he made his way to the bedroom.

It was empty and dark, it’s not what he had expected. Everything was still the same, he kind of thought everything would be a mess. That a war zone would be before him as if Amelia had quickly scavenged for her belongings. But obviously Amelia hadn’t stopped by, it was a comforting feeling knowing that she wasn’t completely gone yet. He already knew where Amelia was, probably snuggled up in her old bed at Meredith’s house. He made his decision he’ll give her the space she needs, in a day or two they could maybe talk again. He really hoped that they could friends again or she would change her mind because they could be so much more. With that thought he crawled into bed, all alone he fell asleep.

****

“Hey I’m not coming in tomorrow, “ Amelia mumbled on the phone, “You know what, make it the whole week!”

“Amelia, you can’t just do that----” Alex yelled, but was cutoff as Amelia ended the call suddenly.

Amelia was sitting cozily on the moldy motel bed, her purse laying at her feet. She sighed taking in the wreck that was her day, or her constant life. There was a knock at the door and she sprung up to retrive it. Before her stood her post mate, a blonde teen boy holding the McDonalds she has ordered. She smiled and took the food from him, he smiled back at her expecting a tip but she proceeded to slam the door on him. Amelia plopped down on the bed exhausted, and began eating her big mac as she noticed something glittering in the corner of her eye. It was a small bottle of whiskey in the mini bar. Amelia no, it’s just a rough patch things will get better, you have to grieve and push through she thought to herself. But then she called how Owen had told her those words and it just infuriated her. Life was just one mess after another, why should we feel at all she began to think. And before she could stop herself the whiskey bottle was in her hand; empty.


	4. Unknown Location

“Well, I’ve done fucked up” Maggie muttered as she enter the house.

“What have you done this time” Mer chuckled.

Maggie pause and stared into Mer's eyes, “I told her, and she’s not happy about…”

“Wait you told her?!”

“No I didn’t tell her she found out, and I might have let it slip that we know too”.

Meredith’s face dropped, she was in disbelief from what had just unfolded.

“Well what do we do now?” Meredith, being the reasonable one, started to ponder the next step forward.

“I don’t know… maybe we should just give her some space”

“Yeah, she probably doesn’t want to see us right now”

Maggie sighed and flopped onto the couch.

“..and the day was going so good…”

****  
( 2 days later)

Owen yawned groggily, he was standing in the ER watching the havoc infold in front of him yet he couldn’t keep his eyes open.

“Owen, you alive!” Teddy startled him with.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m alright didn’t get much sleep last night”

“Well that’s too bad… so I was thinking we should start talking about at least my birthing plan” Teddy began to ramble as they walked down the hall.

Owen head just spun and couldn’t hold onto her words as they shot out by the millions, 

“Yeah, yeah that’s cool… um…. I’ve got to go deal with this patient, we’ll talk later” Owen spoke as he dashed off.

“Oh okay.. Great!” Teddy cheerily shouted behind him.

Owen just kept walking the ER wasn’t too packed today and April had it handled, so he began to wander in hopes of losing Teddy and her annoying voice behind him. He didn’t really hate Teddy, but over the past few days she had nonstop badgered him with questions and plans. He just kept thinking what would Amelia do, would she get that kind of crib or those stuffed animals. Yes he had a baby at home but a newborn is completely different. Between Teddy, Leo, and Betty he had no time to himself lately. Even though he knew Amelia had made her decision he wished she could just hold his hand right now. And Owen had become increasingly worried about Amelia lately since she had not come to work in a few days, and obviously knew she was avoiding him. He would continue to give her the space she asked for but he couldn't help but worry.

****

Maggie trotted down the hall behind Meredith. Her skipper steps didn’t match the march of the cold doctor in front of her.

“Should we call her?’ Maggie whispered.

“Call who?” Meredith replied as she sipped her coffee.

“Amelia, duh”

“Well I mean we made the mistake so we should maybe ca..”

“Yeah definitely” Maggie sputter but was quickly interrupted.

“But I mean at the same time if she wants be a big baby and throw a tantrum about an predicament that Owen didn’t really choose… and it’s really Owen fault not ours so if she wants to avoid us that’s her choice.”

“Yeah but we did keep this information from her, that’s our fault.”

“Yeah but she’s a doctor, she should get HIPPA, we shouldn’t call”

“No we should call, I broke HIPPA to tell you”

“Ooof that’s right, well tonight we’ll call then just to make sure she’s alive” Meredith sighed and reluctantly agreed.

“Yeah and then we’ll give her space until she’s ready to come back to us” Maggie cheerifully agreed.

They switched to the conversation to reality show they watched last night in order to lighten their spirits. As they turned the corner they bumped into a reddish haired figure. 

“Oh, hi Owen” Meredith spoke in a cold tone.

They had been avoiding him the past few days, they knew he had probably chosen Teddy and the baby over Amelia because otherwise she wouldn’t have run off. And also due to the fact that he may have pressing questions about Amelia’s whereabouts in which they couldn’t answer. It was a pretty large hospital and it was an easy feat to avoid him.

 

 

“Hey Meredith… Maggie, how are you guys doing I haven’t seen you around lately. I just assumed you just took time off to be with Amelia. How is she doing exactly?” Owen spoke gently, as if they were timid mice who would bolt at any sudden movement.

“She probably doing good.. Well I think, Amelia strong sooo” Maggie stuttered nervously.

“Probably? Isn’t she living with you guys right now, shouldn’t you know how she’s doing” Owen said his tone growing with a strange anger.

Meredith took a step in front of Maggie, as if protecting her, “Well she actually isn’t staying with us, she ran off somewhere and we don’t know where she is”

“So no one knows where Amelia is” Owen said, stunned.


	5. Finally Free

It was chilly out, and Amelia hugged the leather jacket closer to her thin form to keep her warm. She had grown tired of whiskey and soparas in a motel room the past few days, she decided to go for a walk. There in her clenched fist, swaying by her hips, was another full bottle of vodka. She took a sip and stared into the stars above her as she walked. The sickening alcohol didn’t have the same effect as she once thought it held. It just didn’t seem to…. numb….. the pain anymore. She took a turn and began to remember the street she was on. An idea began to brew inside Amelia head, she dashed down the street and then turned right. There is was the Wilson Clinic.

Amelia turned the broken handle and walked in. There were a few oddballs strung out in the waiting room, the room held a pure scent of tobacco. Suddenly a man in a white coat walked from the back, 

“Amelia, my favorite customer, I haven’t seen you in a while, don’t tell me you got clean” Wilson exclaimed.

“Ha… hardly. You got the stuff” Amelia chuckled.

“Always” Wilson grinned.

A few minutes later, Amelia stepped onto the streets of Seattle carrying a few small bags of Oxy. She couldn’t help but grin as she skipped back towards her motel room. 

“Pain… get ready to vanish”

***

Amelia is sitting on her moldy motel bed, and man is she feelings high. Well not yet because the oxy is still in her right hand, but she’s excited to take it. And she will, in a second she tells herself but all those AA meetings have stuck with her. After this there is no going back she thinks to herself. 

Her phone begins to vibrate and she pulls it of her pocket. She is greeted with Mer’s cheery smile, it’s her profile photo. Huh, why would Meredith really care about me right now, I’m just the leftovers of Derek…. a mess, Amelia begins to ponder. 

But surprisingly to herself she picks up.

“Hey…” Amelia whispers, feeling the guilt building inside her.

“Hey Amelia, are you alright, I heard what happened” Meredith said, her voice was taught and gentle as if she was holding back.

“Yeah…. Why are you really calling” Amelia spoke rapidly, her voice tinged with anger but wasn’t fully emotional yet. Yeah, why didn't you call earlier Meredith huh, Amelia thought to herself.

“I’m just calling to make sure you’re okay, you haven’t been to work in a few days…” Meredith spoke gently.

“Yeah, okay, you know that’s not it. I’m just Derek’s little sister who also happens to be a drug addict, so I can’t be left alone for one second…… or I’ll kill somebody maybe, cause I can’t handle stress or issues…. I’m just fragile aren’t I. Well fuck you Meredith!....” Amelia's anger and sadness from the days prior had crept back, the emotions had begun to overwhelm, and the currently tipsy Amelia couldn’t hold back the words burning inside her, “And don’t you think Ive forgotten about what you and Maggie did to me, yeah she let that slip. You’re such bitches you know that,you kept that from me….. I don’t need you in my life. I’m doing perfectly fine without you guys. Don’t worry about me and leave me the hell alone, I won’t be back….. I;m not coming back… I have a better life now. But I won’t absolve you of your guilt Meredith.Yeah that’s why you called, you did a fucked up thing deal with it…. I already have. Don’t call me again…..” Amelia sighed, her screaming died out because she was suddenly so exhausted, “.... goodbye Meredith” she spoke in a calm whisper of a broken being.

“Amel---” Mer spoke but was cut off as Amelia quickly clicked her phone off. 

Amelia sighed feeling really spent, and yet her emotions were still surging through her. She flopped backwards onto the bed, the springs creaking under her weight. She turned her head and was met by the bright sparkling white crystals beside her head. Amelia grabbed the bag and sat up excitedly, screw it, screw them, screw AA. All AMelia wanted right now was just to not feel anymore, feel love, hatred, anger….. But mostly pain and guilt.

She tore the bag open and poured the white specs onto the coffee table, and then grabbed a dollar bill from her back pocket and rolled it up.

Goodbye, feelings….. Hello fun?


End file.
